As a doula I am used to hearing that a woman’s wishes in labour cannot be granted because hospital guidelines or policy forbid it. This conversation usually comes up when a birthing woman wishes to use the pool for comfort, or the birthing centre, or would like an elective C...
'The most important thing now is a healthy baby’ and any other variations that refer to the importance of the health, safety and wellbeing of baby are probably the most widely used phrases from the maternity world. Unfortunately there aren’t many parents that I support who don’t hear this at...
‘You will feel instant love, elation and joy as soon as your baby is born.’ And other adages from the birth world Part 1: Last week I attended a long and very uncomfortable posterior labour. The brave and long suffering mum understandably began to doubt herself; the process and her ability to...
Here are 3 things you and your partner need to know after a traumatic birth experience: It’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong. You did not deserve the things that happened. As a birthing woman bringing a new person into the world you were strong yet vulnerable and needed...
It’s a tricky question because we are so inclined to think that it is the circumstance of a situation that makes it traumatic. And this is often true, a car crash is traumatic, being attacked is traumatic, a warzone is traumatic. And we often can’t do anything about the situation...
When I originally met Sarah* she had come to see me for treatment for anxiety. I had no idea when she booked the appointment that she was a new mum and had a baby just 5 months beforehand, she didn’t mention this in her original email. She had said she...
It is rare that I see mums or dads within the 1st year of their childs life after a traumatic birth. There is just too much going on, often they would rather forget all about it, move on into the demands of looking after a newborn, keep afloat, get through...
I had always wondered how Lauren's birth had gone. I remembered our last hypnobirthing session in front of a roaring fire at her house. When I finally heard from her and read her traumatic birth story it brought me to tears. Working with Lauren inspired me to train other practitioners...
There are fewer things I enjoy about my job more than working with parents to lift the symptoms that can plague them after a traumatic birth. Except perhaps for teaching these skills to other birth workers because I know that for every one mum or dad that I see the...
After a difficult or traumatic birth experience women are often advised to have a birth debrief (sometimes this is offered as a listening or reflections service) with a Supervisor of Midwives (or SOM for short) or a Consultant Midwife at the hospital where they gave birth. Sometimes doulas and antenatal...